Remember back to the days when it was just you and your spouse? You used to love spending all the time in the world together. Now after 20-30 years of children, jobs, bills, and stress, you may find yourself wondering who that person is that is sitting next to you on the couch. When the kids are gone, many couples find that they no longer have anything in common because they didn’t spend enough time nurturing their relationship and they simply became roommates that were held together by their children. A marriage does have some sacrifice and compromise, but it doesn’t mean you need to let your actual marriage suffer by sacrificing time to devote to your children. When you send the kids off to college or when they leave the home and head out into the world, you need to figure out what your next phase of life is going to be. Below, you will find 5 simple things you can do when the kids are gone:
Plan for it
If you know your last child is going to be leaving home soon, you need to plan for it. Saying goodbye is difficult, but if you prepare yourself it won’t be as hard to let them go. It helps to have a plan for the future when your last child leaves. It helps to plan some things like a big vacation or even a small getaway. You need to have some plans for the future so you don’t drop them off and come home without an idea of where to go next. Create a calendar of the things you need to do. Fill it up with work responsibilities, social engagements, gym classes, and nights out with your friends, date night with your spouse, and volunteer opportunities. Having a plan for things in the future will keep you occupied.
Get a group
One of the best ways to overcome your loneliness is to find a group to hang out with. When your children were little, you probably had a play group to tag along with. This group gave you the friendship you needed at that time in your life. Now, you need to have a new group of friends to hang out with. Find friends that have sent their children off to college too, you want to be around people that can share similar experiences with you. Make plans to do something different with your group at least once a week. This is a great way to get your mind off the feelings of loneliness and focus on getting out of the house and having fun.
Remember the romance
Far too often marriages end because the couple simply forgot how to talk to one another and how to be romantic. Intimacy is extremely important in marriage and it is one of the best ways to show your spouse you still love and care for them. Surprise each other. Set aside time to have a weekly date night. You don’t always have to do something fancy or expensive. A nice candlelight dinner on the porch may be all you need to spend a romantic evening with your spouse. When you bring the romance back into your marriage, it will remind the two of you why you fell in love and got married in the first place.
Volunteer
If you feel like you have too much spare time, volunteer. City libraries and other areas are always in need of help from volunteers. Head over to your city office building and find out if there are some volunteer opportunities you can do. Senior citizen homes and food banks are always grateful for an extra helping hand.
Remember who you are
Over the past few years you have probably been caught up in being a parent that you forgot who you are. Take some time for yourself. Head to the spa and treat yourself to a nice hot stone massage. Go to the ballpark with your friends. Do things that you truly enjoy doing because they will help nurture your soul and make you happy.
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