The most effective parenting style, according to experts is that of an authoritative parent. These are parents who set rules and guidelines, expect them to be followed, but are open to dialogue, and are responsive to their children. In order to better yourself as a parent, and more fully emulate this positive form of parenting, be sure to do the following things:
Hold Daily Conversation.
If you want to be a good parent, you have to take into account your child’s perspective on life. Engage your child in conversation at least once a day. This conversation needs to be one that is positive, that reinforces their qualities, rather than points out their problems. You want to focus on learning something new about them, what is going on in their life, what is important to them etc. This is important for toddlers and teens alike.
Focus on Relationship-building.
It is essential as you work on positive parenting that you learn to separate disciplinary discussions from relationship-building discussions. Your child needs to form a relationship with you outside of discipline, and the best way to do this is if you focus on building your relationship.
Set behavioral standards.
If you want to be a positive parent, you can’t just love your kids and let things happen. You have to set clear standards for behavior that are well-thought out. In addition to that, these rules and expectations of behavior need to help your child to fit into the general rules of his or her social setting. These should be clear, and should not involve rewards or bribes.
Establish consequences.
Rules are important, but as well as rules are the consequences that come from not following them. As a parent you need to set up clear consequences for infractions of rules. Make sure the punishment fits the crime, and make sure the consequence of the first infraction are less severe than punishment for repeat infractions. If possible, make sure the consequence can teach a lesson of sorts.
Focus on empathy.
If you want your child to grow up well adjusted, be particularly attuned to behaviors that infringe on the rights and feelings of others. Help your child understand how their actions affect others, and help them learn appropriate interaction.
Encourage self-expression and independence.
Part of being a great parent is getting your child to grow up to be an adult who thinks and acts for themselves. To do this you should encourage discussion of your child’s feelings about rules and standards, and allow for disagreement. Let them learn how to be independent, while still asserting your authority as a parent. Explain why you have the final say, but give them a chance to verbalize what they think, and let it be considered.
Flexibility.
While having strict rules, etc. is important, you need to recognize that every child is different, and every action has a reason behind it. Be flexible when the situation calls for it, and learn to understand the reasons behind the actions.
Acknowledge and encourage differences.
Again, to be a positive parent you have to allow your child to have a different opinion you’re your own. This is how they grow and become individuals. Encourage it and support it.
Practice reasoning and discussion.
Allow your child to speak freely, while insisting they show respect, it is very healthy for children to learn to reason, and to thoughtfully express why they disagree with you, a rule, etc. As you allow your child to speak freely, you will teach them skills of logic, thinking, and caring about how their actions affect others.
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